the magic of hands

The hens are laying again. The weather eases, just a bit. I begin to imagine leaves, flowers, the lush smell of spring–even though it is months away. I can’t help it. You would think that the older you get, the more jaded you become. But every spring seems more a miracle to me than the last.

My daughter’s birthday was this past week, and since her birthday is so near Valentine’s, we had a little Valentine-making birthday-cake-eating party today. Three homeschooled girls came with their moms. While the girls cut out magazine pictures, drew hearts, and glued buttons and roses and ribbons on brightly colored paper, we mommas sat in the kitchen sipping tea. Kerry asked why we chose to homeschool, and being the rebel I am I made a case against the public schools, listing fault after fault. We delved into this only a little bit before the men showed up for some of that cake: Jay, his visiting brother Rick, Bert, and Andy. Ah, homemade chocolate cake and buttercream frosting. Time flew by, and the girls gathered up their Valentines and headed home, their mommas no doubt planning supper on the drive home.

Later McKinley (who had not participated in the very girlie Valentine making) presented to Jay and I a homemade card, of which he was clearly very proud. Even more than proud, it clearly made him happy to share this expression of his love for his parents. “Love You” it said in well-executed red glitter letters, with a blue felt heart above, decorated with silver glitter. Inside he had written more, carefully, sweetly. The three of us hugged, warm, hearts full.

That’s why I homeschool. For all the extra hugs I get (and I do get them!) every day. It’s really very selfish of me.

A gray January morning is not an enticing thing, unless one
is considering how fine it is to stay in a warm bed. Indeed, much
of the day I lingered in my delicious bed, drinking coffee, dream
journalling, playing with my iPod, writing a letter. But the gray
did not lift. The snow fell, and the temperature did too. Then I
heard about the attack on Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Later,
that a nine-year-old girl had been killed, a judge, an aide,
others. I hope that my country is united in prayer for her, for
these families that have suffered such terrible loss. I know my
country is united in prayer. I know that the people who hate are
outnumbered tonight. I listen to Matisyahu sing “One Day” and burst
into tears. I go about my gray January day, minor lists made, an
easy dinner, some laundry folded. Night comes quick. Cold presses
through the windows. I keep praying. Tears keep falling.

Early this month I wrote that we would be taking it easy this December–meaning no real schoolwork, no studio work. The idea was that we would focus all of our energy on Christmas crafts and other such things, enjoying ourselves as we descended into the darkest of the year.

I learned quite a few things from taking this stance. First off, it is very difficult to take it easy in December if you plan on having even a half-normal Christmas. Some things always get me. Christmas Cards. Wrapping presents. Shipping presents. They got me this year, as usual, but really, that’s okay.

Another thing I learned is that my kids are rather adept at pursuing their own interests. This was delightful and encouraging to see. Stop motion, origami, piano, doll play, and lots of drawing.

But what was perhaps most interesting was the effect “taking it easy” had on me. I started meditating, every day. I found a daily exercise practice that feels good and totally manageable. I started writing down my dreams again. And for Christmas I received a marvelous little iPod, which is helping me keep track of time in all its facets, something I have ALWAYS had trouble with (which is why I run into certain troubles every Christmas!). So as I head into twenty-eleven I have some newly established practices that give me a sense of centered-ness and strength and a fancy new tool that greatly improves my relationship with time–though not necessarily my relationship with my husband. They just haven’t made the iHusband app yet!